For much of my life, I was caught in the web of perfectionism.
Every decision was meticulously analyzed, every step scrutinized for flaws.
I believed that by overthinking and preparing endlessly, I could avoid mistakes and pain.
But in reality, this constant analysis kept me stuck—trapped in a cycle of inaction.
Then, life delivered a lesson I could never prepare for.
My mother passed away.
Her death hit me like a tidal wave, not only with grief but with a stark realization: time waits for no one.
The life we live now is all we truly have.
Suddenly, the pain of my perfectionism—the endless procrastination, the avoidance of action—felt unbearable.
I saw how my fear of making mistakes had robbed me of the simple joys of being present.
And I understood something profound: whether I act or stay stuck, there will always be pain.
The question is which pain I’m willing to endure—the pain of effort or the pain of regret.
The Pain of Perfectionism
As a perfectionist, I often told myself, “Not yet. I’ll start when it’s perfect.”
I would spend hours analyzing every possible scenario, trying to ensure I had every answer before I began.
But this delay was its own kind of suffering.
Each day I postponed, I felt the quiet ache of knowing I could have done more, lived more, or experienced more.
But I told myself the lie that “later” would be better.
When my mother passed, I realized “later” is a myth.
There is only now.
And with that realization came the truth: the pain of waiting and overthinking is no easier than the pain of taking action.
Living in the NOW
In the weeks after her passing, I began to see the power of the present moment.
Every decision I’d been afraid to make, every action I had delayed, became an urgent choice.
I asked myself:
- What if tomorrow never comes?
- What if I never get another chance to say yes to life?
These questions shattered my perfectionism.
I stopped worrying about doing things perfectly and focused on doing them now.
Whether it was pursuing a project, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying a quiet moment, I chose to act.
Taking Action Is a Gift
It’s not easy to let go of perfectionism.
Taking action often feels messy, uncomfortable, and imperfect.
But what I’ve learned is this: the discomfort of trying is a gift.
When I choose to act, I feel alive.
The pain of effort transforms into growth. The sting of uncertainty becomes the thrill of possibility.
And even when I fail, I find peace in knowing I tried.
By contrast, the pain of staying stuck—the pain of “what if” and “if only”—is heavy and endless.
It’s a pain that leaves you powerless, wishing for a chance you no longer have.
My Mother’s Legacy
Losing my mother taught me the most valuable lesson of all: life happens in the NOW.
She lived her life fully, embracing both the joys and challenges without waiting for the “perfect” moment.
Her example reminded me that the only way to honor life is to embrace it, flaws and all.
When I think about her, I remind myself that the pain of taking action and the pain of regret are the same—but the outcomes are worlds apart.
A Message for You
If you, too, feel paralyzed by perfectionism or hesitation, I encourage you to ask yourself:
- What am I waiting for?
- If not now, when?
Remember, every day you wait is a day you can never get back.
The pain of taking action might feel overwhelming at first, but it will lead you toward growth, joy, and fulfillment.
The pain of inaction, however, will only deepen your regrets.
I’ve made my choice.
I choose the pain of action, knowing it brings me closer to the life I want to live.
My mother’s memory inspires me to seize the NOW, and I hope it inspires you too.
So, which pain will you choose?
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